


Elephant chooses to stand on your car

by ullman



Category: Backstreet Boys, NSYNC
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-09
Updated: 2015-01-09
Packaged: 2018-03-06 20:43:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3147986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ullman/pseuds/ullman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I think the title pretty much covers it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Elephant chooses to stand on your car

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Ephemera (for Make the Yuletide Gay 2014).

"Does that make me the most phallicly inclined?" AJ asks when Chris points out the fact that he's the only one of the Backstreet Boys attending JC's surprisingly, or, on second thought, unsurprisingly penis-themed birthday bash. His seriously _belated_ birthday bash anyway.

"A rhetorical question, I'm sure," Chris says dryly.

AJ merely arches an eyebrow in an uncanny impression of one of his occasionally more supercilious bandmates.

"Of course JC does like his dicks big. Maybe that explains why you're here?" Chris asks.

AJ smirks. "A rhetorical question, surely."

"Touché." Chris raises his glass in acknowledgement, a surprisingly comfortable silence stretching between them as both their gazes wander to the dance floor where JC appears to be teaching Joey some rather propulsive hip gyrations. Unsurprisingly, Chris finds himself approving of that wholeheartedly.

 

**

 

"I thought it was a pretty tasteful gathering," JC says, frowning at them over the rim of his glasses. "I mean, one penis does not an orgy make."

Joey grins. "No complaints from me, C. Although I'm fairly sure you're _lowballing_ it a little there with just the one penis," he adds with a shit-eating grin.

Chris barely manages to stifle the groan that threatens at the other man's words.

AJ, however, does not quite manage that particular feat, nearly choking on his coffee instead. "Oh, man, I do kinda miss that particular brand of, you know, bad puns." He lifts his cup at Chris, an almost rueful smile curling at the corners of his mouth. "My loss."

Chris can't disagree there.

 

**

 

"The world's biggest pillow fight," Justin mutters. "Isn't that a little, like, random?" He somehow manages to make the word random sound an awful lot like _sad_ , and Chris feels his hackles rise despite hearing the genuine, however misguided, concern in Justin's voice.

"It sounds like good fun," Joey says, directing an easy smile at the screen. And probably at Justin too, Chris concedes: Joey is nice like that.

"I'm pretty sure that's what JC said about that big cockfest of his last week. And look at him, he's re-carpeting his whole house."

"Mind walking us through that particularly poetic metaphor?" Chris asks, his brow furrowing.

Justin shrugs hesitantly, the screen freezing as if on cue. "I guess I just don't want you to end up having to re-carpet your whole career."

"I think my career can survive the occasional pillow fight," Joey deadpans before Chris even has a chance to process Justin's words. "But hey, that doesn't mean I don't totally appreciate your concern."

"Totally," Chris echoes with decidedly less sincerity, shooting daggers at Justin as he wills him to change the subject already.

"Anyway," Justin drawls, apparently taking the none too subtle hint. "That's not why I'm calling of course. Or not the only reason I'm calling, anyway," he adds pointedly, sitting up. "I called because I have some news, or, well, _we_ have some news - "

 

**

 

JC huffs. "I'm not going to re-carpet the whole house. Just the second floor. White carpet - do not go there. _Ever_ ," he adds with a dramatically exaggerated shudder.

"Noted," Chris says. "And I'll avoid your second floor too, while I'm at it."

"You should. I do have pictures. Remind me to send them to you guys. But speaking of avoiding - ," JC segues uncharacteristically smoothly. "I heard you and AJ made nice the other night."

Chris nods. "I guess. I mean, not _second floor_ nice, of course. But, yeah - it's not like I can keep blaming him for getting there first. And I guess it all did happen a long time ago. Wait - did AJ tell you that we made nice?" he asks, frowning suspiciously.

"No. Or not in those exact words anyway - I think what he said was that he was glad that you finally nutted up." JC laughs softly. "You know, wanting to keep in theme with that night's phallic festivities."

"Damn, I guess AJ really wasn't kidding when he mentioned missing the bad punnage," Chris all but groans.

"He totally wasn't. But, anyway, _babies_ \- "

 

**

 

"Does everyone think I'm holding a grudge?" Chris asks that same night.

Joey looks up from the script he's leafing through, arching one eyebrow at him. "And which particular grudge are we talking about here?"

"Fuck you," Chris says easily. "AJ," he clarifies when Joey appears to be waiting for an actual answer.

"Oh, that one, yeah. Pretty much everyone."

"Great. Well, apparently, I did cowboy up the other night, and made nice," he mumbles petulantly.

Joey leans in to press their lips together in the briefest of kisses. "So I've heard. But hey, it's not like I don't get - wait, no, I don't get it. Not really. But still, I couldn't be more proud," he says, struggling to keep a straight face.

Chris smiles, letting his hands travel over Joey's body. "Not as proud as I am of you for managing to totally ignore the word _cowboy_ there."

"Man, Chris, don't even - my restraint, it is hanging by a thread here," Joey mock-whines, finally abandoning his script altogether.

"Well, if you wanna fly - "

 

**

 

"Rumor has it Justin's going to be spending some time at JC's," Lance informs him when Chris manages to get him to actually answer his phone for a change.

"Is he now? Shouldn't he be keeping an eye on Jess. You know, what with the baby and all," he adds randomly.

"Yes, because it is common knowledge that pregnant women should be monitored at all times," Lance drawls.

Chris snorts. "I'm just saying - he's not exactly been that sociable lately. Missing out on JC's birthday party and all."

"Come on, Chris, let it go already. Seriously, so what if Justin wasn't gagging for it - " Lance deliberately lets his voice trail off, because apparently everyone has attended one of Joey Fatone's bad punnage seminars recently. " _I_ wasn't there either."

"You weren't? Why I hadn't even noticed," Chris lies with practised ease. "And even if I had noticed, I wouldn't care. Because contrary to popular belief I do not hold grudges. Or not that many, anyway."

Lance grins knowingly. "To be honest, I'm more than a little sorry about missing JC's cockapalooza. It sounds like y'all had some pretty good fun."

"Well, it's all fun and games until someone has to re-carpet his whole second floor," Chris tells him with uncontained glee. "Wait, there are pictures - "

 

**

 

Joey's phone beeps repeatedly. "Oh, for fuck's sake," Chris grunts after a minute or so, rolling off Joey to reach for the man's phone.

"It's AJ," he murmurs, his voice trailing off when Joey effectively pins him down onto the bed, his mouth starting to work its way down Chris' spine.

"What does he want?" Joey asks, the sound of his voice muffled by skin.

Chris sighs, decidedly more interested in pressing up against the warmth of Joey's mouth. But when he does check AJ's messages he can barely stop himself from cackling.

"Dude. It's Justin - he's at JC's right now," Chris says, holding up Joey's phone to show the pictures of Justin, mid-snow angel on some suspiciously off-white carpeting. "That's just so - " his voice trails off once more, laughing. "So very - "

"I believe the word you're looking for there is _random_."

 

**fin**


End file.
